Broke Down Blossom

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Blossom down                                                                                                                                   Landing on                                                                                                                                         Forgotten ground

Just like love lost                                                                                                                                      A heart tossed

Aside                                                                                                                                                   Shoved by                                                                                                                                             Pride

Hearts held back                                                                                                                                     Hearts weak hearts slack

A small room, where damage lives                                                                                                       A small piece that I could never give

Like a blossom dropped from the dozen                                                                                         Like a piece stopped, held frozen

But in it danger dwells                                                                                                                              And the need only swells

I grasp at the stems

Desperate for  control                                                                                                                       Fists clenching my soul

Bloody briars sting my skin                                                                                                           Exposing liar’s sin within

I am the weak the broken flower

Need takes over, stealing power

I give in                                                                                                                                                       She gave up

In love she left

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The blossom on the floor

 

I can’t tell if that poem is happy or sad… both maybe?

I think I have always worshiped women… The statement by itself sounds amazing I suppose, who wouldn’t want to be worshiped? Well, it’s how that worship is put into practice that is the problem. I loose myself… I pour myself into the worship… only I hold a tiny little bit back.

That tiny little bit is the part of my heart/mind that clings to my victim attitude, that holds to old habits, and that whispers in my ear at night, “You’re gonna loose her.”

 

Fear made me worry, worry turned to anxiety, anxiety turned to acting out, and soon I had created the exact situation I feared so much…

Welp, I’m done doing that, (o.k. I’m getting ready to start being done…) I’m working on a true and pure love, a love that can only come from/through God and it feels pretty peaceful. How?

Million dollar question baby!

Probably the biggest thing is to trust God. I’ve seen some amazing movement in my life and I had a revelation that was/is mind blowing the other day. I’ll share it with you sometime (look at me building suspense!) when I can think of how to tell the story without sounding bat *poopie crazy. (I’m also trying not to curse these days, which requires heroic effort and vocabularic control)

For now I try to remember what love should be and the following helps me to stay focused on exactly that.

1 John 4:18-19

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
 We love because he first loved us.
*I’m also trying not to curse these days, which requires heroic effort and vocabularic control
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8 thoughts on “Broke Down Blossom

  1. Okay. You will have to tell us your mind blowing revelation! 😍​🙏​ Trust God! I love it. I noticed that when I have fear or stress it is because I can’t let go and trust in a process. There is a greater plan for me. I need to be patient. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

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